Inner Child and Attachment Therapy in Los Altos, California
Working with early attachment wounds that follow you into your inner world and relationships.
Attachment and Inner Child struggles show up in many ways. Attachment therapy can help if you:
Feel yourself craving closeness but pulling away when someone gets too near.
You worry that if people really knew you, they would immediately abandon you.
Even in good relationships, you sometimes feel a constant undercurrent of loneliness.
You replay the same painful dynamics in friendships or romances and wonder why.
There’s a younger part of you that feels unworthy, unseen, or not good enough.
You long for care and support but feel guilty or ashamed when you need it.
Conflict makes you feel small. Similar to how you felt back in your childhood home.
It feels hard to trust that love will last or that it’s safe to really rely on someone.
You sense there’s a gap between the confident adult you and the tender, insecure child within.
No matter how much you achieve, you still feel haunted by an old fear of being rejected or abandoned.
We all carry our past into the present
It’s not uncommon to feel younger than our biological age. At times you’re overactive, hyper vigilant, shut down out of nowhere, or seek reassurance, when the situation doesn’t call for it. Conflict can feel overwhelming, and you don’t know whether to confront or run. Attachment and inner child work helps you recognize these younger parts of yourself, understand when and where they formed, and develop a more compassionate relationship with this younger self to help it catch up with your real age.
Through inner-child work and attachment therapy you identify recurring relational patterns, understand your emotional responses, and develop new ways of connecting with yourself and with others. We can often feel like we are different ages at different moments. In therapy we can allow each version of yourself to show up and create a more integrated whole version of your self.
The Foundations of Attachment and Inner Child Work
Attachment theory was created from the idea that the way in which we were cared for growing up shapes how we experience love, safety, and closeness. Psychoanalyst John Bowlby and Researcher Mary Ainsworth conducted famous experiments observing that children need more than food and shelter; they need emotional security. When connection feels steady and responsive, we tend to grow into adults who trust closeness and develop a secure attachment. When it feels inconsistent, distant, or overwhelming, we adapt and develop an anxious, ambivalent or avoidant attachment. Those adaptations often stay with us, quietly influencing how we handle intimacy, conflict, independence, and reassurance long after childhood has passed.
Inner child work grew from the tradition of Carl Jung and depth psychology. Carl Jung believed that earlier or younger parts of ourselves continue to live within us. He noticed that at times, we may notice feeling small, reactive, or deeply sensitive in ways that seem out of proportion to the moment. Inner child work gently acknowledges that these responses once made sense and rather than trying to eliminate them, therapy helps you understand and care for those younger emotional parts so they feel less alone inside you. Over time, this creates more steadiness, self-compassion, and freedom in how you relate to yourself and others.
Therapy for Inner Child Work and Attachment therapy FAQs.
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The inner child is a way of describing the younger parts of yourself that still live inside — the feelings, needs, and longings you had growing up that may not have been fully met. In therapy, we explore those tender places not to dwell on the past, but to understand how they shape the way you feel and relate today.
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Attachment styles are the patterns you learned in early relationships — how safe or unsafe it felt to reach out for love, comfort, and care. These patterns often resurface in adult relationships, shaping how you handle closeness, conflict, and vulnerability. By bringing awareness to them in therapy, you can begin to shift from repeating old cycles toward building healthier, more secure connections.
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Not at all. This work isn’t about blame — it’s about understanding. Even loving parents can miss things, and families often pass down patterns they never had the chance to examine themselves. By exploring your early experiences, you gain clarity and compassion for both yourself and the people who raised you. That understanding opens the door to change.
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That’s very common. Inner child and attachment work doesn’t require perfect memories. Often the feelings you carry in the present — self-doubt, shame, fear of abandonment, or difficulty trusting — tell the story of what may have been missing. Together, we’ll follow the threads of those feelings to uncover and heal the younger parts of you.
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This work is gentle and collaborative. We’ll pay attention to how your younger parts show up in your thoughts, feelings, and relationships today. You’ll have space to express emotions that may have once felt unsafe or “too much.” Over time, you may find yourself feeling more grounded, more secure in relationships, and more compassionate toward yourself.
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You don’t have to know your “attachment style” or be certain you need inner child work before starting. Many people come in simply feeling stuck in patterns they can’t explain — maybe you keep choosing unavailable partners, struggle with self-worth, or feel anxious about being abandoned. If you notice that your reactions in relationships feel bigger than the situation at hand, or that certain feelings trace back to something deeper, this kind of therapy may help. Together, we’ll explore at a pace that feels safe for you, with curiosity rather than judgment.
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Ready to take the next step? Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or to request a consultation.
